Achluophobia: FEAR OF THE DARK!!

My husband left to go out of town to hunt. He hunts in his hometown in East Texas where his parents still live.  He took both of our girls with him so they could spend some time with Grammie and Grampie.  This would be my first time in our new home...Home Alone!  (scary organ music playing)

I don't know if there have been so many practical jokes played on me or played BY me in the darkness that I'm terrified of the dark when I'm alone.  I can imagine Kurt being in every closet jumping out to scare me.  I have such a grand imagination.  I turn every noise into an animate creature.  Creaks and pops become footsteps and movement of a thief lurking in the darkness coming in to steal our not-so-valuables.    I can hear the toilet run, the air condition shift on and off and the ice maker making new ice.  I hear all of the neighbors in a 20 mile radius shutting car doors and garages.  I hear imaginary gun shots.  None of that seems so dramatic when the lights are ON!

What is it about darkness that I dread?

I've always imagined God and Heaven and there was never a trace of darkness in those imaginations.   It's the place where there is No Night - The Lamb is the Light!  AND, this is true!

HOWEVER, here are some other Scriptures to review.

Psalm 18:9-11
9 He bowed the heavens also, and came down: and darkness was under his feet.
10 And he rode upon a cherub, and did fly: yea, he did fly upon the wings of the wind.
11 He made darkness his secret place; his pavilion round about him were dark waters and thick clouds of the skies.
*Verse 12 talks about HIS brightness.


Psalm 97:2
2 Clouds and darkness are round about him: righteousness and judgment are the habitation of his throne.

1 Kings 8:12
12 Then spake Solomon, The Lord said that he would dwell in the thick darkness.

Also, another interesting thought:
2 Corinthians 11:14
14 And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.


I don't have to fear the dark. What I must pay more attention to is what is going on in the light. When I'm most comfortable, when I feel like I'm safe, when life is going good and smooth - that's when I need to be more aware. A lot of the time, that is where the attack comes - when the guard is down.

If you've found yourself in a dark situation or a storm, enjoy the secret place with HIM. (He made darkness his secret place) If you're enjoying the light with no troubles, no battles - either get ready - or WAKE UP BABY! You're not in Heaven yet!!

A New Nail for my Scarf Rack

I looked at the two nails on the wall about two inches apart.  One was old and rusty, one was new and silver.  I had heard about people stepping on rusty nails and getting infected or having to get a shot.  I shivered at the thought of the rusty nail, even in the wall.  I decided to go with the new nail.  I hung my vintage scarf rack up and stood back and looked with admiration.  I did it - on my own!  My husband would be so proud.  (Even though I used an existing nail - LOL!)

I unpacked my scarves and washed them and ironed them and then color-coded them.  As soon as they were ready I began hanging them.  The last scarf, my latest splurge, still had its tags on it.  I hung it and stepped back to look and, CRASSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH.   My clean, ironed and color-coded scarves were now on the floor in the bottom of my closet along with some flakes of sheetrock.

Kurt heard the crash.  As he ran to my closet upstairs, I explained what happened.  There was a gaping hole in the wall where the new and silver nail fell out.  I started cleaning up my mess.

"This nail wasn't in a stud," he explained.
I tried to look like I understood, slowly nodding my head. "Ok."

"Behind the sheetrock there is a wood frame.  If you're going to hang anything that is heavy or holding weight, you need to make sure the nail is in the stud.  If not, it will just rip through the sheet rock.  You should just use this old nail.  It's in the stud already."

My scarves weren't precious to me or even breakable.  But what if I had hung something more valuable on that new nail?  New Silver Nail or Old Rusty Nail, just make sure it's in the right place.

Are you secure?  Are you planted on a firm foundation?  Do you have an anchor?  

There is SOMEONE hanging on you.  If you fall, they will fall also.

This picture was from the blog Heynowwhoanow

^{Isaiah 22:23-25}

²³ And I will fasten him as a nail in a sure place; and he shall be for a glorious throne to his father's house.

²⁴ And they shall hang upon him all the glory of his father's house, the offspring and the issue, all vessels of small quantity, from the vessels of cups, even to all the vessels of flagons.

²⁵ In that day, saith the Lord of hosts, shall the nail that is fastened in the sure place be removed, and be cut down, and fall; and the burden that was upon it shall be cut off: for the Lord hath spoken it.

Oh Jesus - Bed Bugs!

6:00 AM.  It wasn't an alarm.  It was two words that woke me up.  "Bed Bugs."

"Oh Jesus," I exclaimed somewhat praying.  I immediately jumped out of bed.  I had a friend that had battled with bed bugs for months.  We were in a new house.  I did not want this.  I did not need this.

I started my Google search.  How do you detect them?  How do you cure them?

The detection part seemed easier than the curing part.  I already had a headache just reading about the hassle that bed bugs cause.  

Here's a few things that I learned.

1.  Bed bugs are a parasitic bug.  They can't live without a host.  (That would be me or you.)

2.  The host (me or you) receives no benefit, only harm from the parasite.  (Usually without killing)

3.  Feeding time is usually from 10 PM to 6 AM.  

4.  They can survive up to a year without a meal.
5.  Bed bugs aren't only found in filthy environments, they've been found in the nicest homes and hotels.

6.  You need a professional to help get rid of it.  Over-the-counter bug sprays and killers do not work.
According to one website, "Effective bed bug elimination usually includes vigilant monitoring, prevention, a combination of chemical and non-chemical treatments, and teamworks."

Here's how you detect and prevent them according to ORKIN.

1.  Survey surfaces for signs of an infestation. 
2.  Lift and look underneath the surfaces.
3.  Elevate your personal items away from possible places of infestation.
4.  Examine your items when returning from any trips.
5.  Place all your clothing from your trip in the dryer on the highest heat setting for at least 15 minutes.

I went to searching mattresses.  I pulled off all of our sheets in all three rooms.  I searched and surveyed and found no signs.  I was so confused.  

Later that day I was asked to speak to our College and Career class at church a few nights later.  I already had a lesson on "God and Your Gift" and so I quickly agreed.  After reading over my notes, I didn't feel the "FLOW."  I knew something was wrong.   Then it clicked.  BED BUGS!

We have them.  We are hosting them.  We are affected by them.  What can we do?

Here's a few things that I gathered on the spiritual aspect of bed bugs.
1.  We are HOSTS.  We keep it alive, whether by choice or by neglect.
2.  It's not benefitting us in any way.  It drains us and leaves us wounded.
3.  It's feeding on us in the evening times - while we should be in REST and PEACE.
4.  It may not show their head every day.  Sometimes it's only once a year.
5.  It's not just the "rank sinners" that are hosting, even some "solid saints".

6.  We need to be vigilant in detecting and destroying them.  We need outside sources to help us. 

(James 5:16)

Here's how you detect and prevent them.  According to the WORD.   The acronym is SLEEP.

1.  Search your heart for signs.  Ask HIM to search you!

Psalm 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:

2.  Lift your eyes to the hills from which cometh your help.

Psalm 121:1-2 I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.  My help cometh from the LORD.

3.  Elevate yourself and separate things or people that could transfer the infestation.

1 Peter 1:16 "...Be ye holy; for I am holy."

4.  Examine yourself and things that you do, places you go.

2 Corinthians 13:5 Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves...

5.  Place yourself in the Secret Place, and allow HIM to turn up the heat if necessary to make you as pure as gold.  

Psalms 91:1 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.  

Job 23:10 But He knoweth the way that I take; when He hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.

Photo from Ideal Partners Tx 

The Day I Quit Drinking

I was finally away from my frenzied home.  There was no laundry.  There were no dishes.   There were no children crying, at least not mine.    I had escaped to my happy place of solitude, the grocery store.  I didn’t bother to make a list.  I walked up and down every aisle grabbing whatever seemed good in the moment.  I had to retrace a few aisles after I decided what meals I would be serving.  It would be hard to follow me around a grocery store as there was no rhyme or reason to my shopping cart navigation.  However, I started noticing I was passing this same gentleman on every aisle.  Was I subconcisouly following him or was he following me?

“You look tired,” he broke the ice.
“Well, THANK YOU,” I said with an energetic smile and a sarcastic tone.
I kept walking.  He backed his shopping cart to follow me backwards.
“You wish your life was more organized but you’re too tired to make it happen.  You wish you could sleep more.  You’re tired and weary all of the time.  It’s really getting to you.”
I stopped pushing my cart.  “You have my attention.  So what are you selling that will fix all of that?”
He continued.  “You’re not eating enough and you’re not taking care of your self.  Oh, and you’re drinking, but no one knows.”
I felt myself blush.  I wanted to run and hide but I couldn't move. 

"I can help you."  

I stood stunned and silent.

"First, sleep is not rest.  You need rest.  Second, if you don't eat, you're gonna wither away.  You need to eat, not just snack.  Also, skipping meals is very unhealthy.  And, if you're gonna eat junk food all day, what's the point of eating healthy meals?  As you begin to eat healthy and steadily you will feel strength.  You won't feel so bogged down.  You can start being more active and energetic.  Your family will appreciate the change."

"Oh and the drinking thing.  Here's something I want you to try.  You won't be thirsty for the other stuff ever again.  After you drink this, you'll want to share it with everyone that you meet."

He walked off very briskly and left me holding a small glass bottle with a cork.  Inside was a rolled up piece of paper.  It read, "John 4:14."

I quit drinking from other wells.  Now, He is my source and I am HIS fountain.

Matthew 11:8 - He will give you REST.

Matthew 5:6 - Blessed are those who HUNGER and THIRST after righteousness.

Psalms 42:1 - THIRST for HIM as a deer thirsts for the waterbrook.

John 6:35 - HE is the Bread.  You will never hunger and thirst again.

John 7:38 - Believers should have the flow of Living Water.

Jeremiah 2:13 - Don't forsake the FOUNTAIN, and repair yourself so that you can hold water.

An Unforgettable Birthday Cake

"Happy Birthday dear Amberlyn, Happy Birthday to you!"
"AND MANY MORRRRREEEE," her brother loudly shouted.
She laughed as she blew out her two candles on her half-eaten cake.
This wasn't as glorious as I'd imagined her 21st birthday celebration to be.

I stayed to help clean up after the party and couldn't help but ask the question that everyone else seemed to be avoiding.

The beautiful cake arrived the day before her birthday party.  It was designed by "Cake Creations," a confectioner who had become famous with his unique styles.  You had to be on at least a four year-long waiting list to get his cakes!   It was a three-tiered ombre cake with ruffles of icing.  Each tier had its own unique flavor.  The bottom of the cake was pink and slowly faded into a soft yellow icing at the top.  She had picked out two special gold glitter candles.  She had been planning this since she was seventeen.  Everything was perfect.

Not long after she placed her candles at the top of her cake, her door bell rang.  "Dave?  Wow!  What a surprise!  Come in!"  It was her ex-boyfriend, but only because he moved to another state for his family's business.  They were both too busy to keep up with a long-distance relationship.  Dave heard it was her 21st birthday the next day and wanted to stop in and wish her a happy birthday while he was in town.

"THAT CAKE IS HUGE." he commented.  "Is that what smells so good?"
"Isn't it amazing," she gushed.  "Cake Creations made it."  She began to describe the flavors of the cake and how each tier was unique.   She was so proud.

They made small talk, or tried to.  They were very distracted with the smell of the icing and the 30 inches of flavored goodness in front of them.  Dave explained that he had to fly out the next day so he wouldn't be able to make it to her party.

"I really wish I could be here tomorrow.  I would love just one bite of that cake."
Amberlyn had an idea.  "I guess I could cut you a tiny piece from the back.  No one would really notice.  I mean, since you drove all the way over here today just to wish me a Happy Birthday."

It didn't take long and they were both standing on the back side of the cake with a plastic knife.  Amberlyn slowly cut into the cake.  The smell was more intense now.  They decided to feed each other bites of cake at the same time.  They laughed and as soon as the cake hit their mouth, their eyes grew large with excitement.

"This cake is ridiculous."  Dave wasn't usually this emotional.  He was beside himself.
"That's just the bottom tier," said Amberlyn.  They looked at each other.  "Why not," she giggled.
They were both elated as they fed each other a taste of the next two flavors.
All too soon, it was time for Dave to leave.  They said their good-byes and promised to keep in touch.

Amberlyn's brother and his football friend came home after practice.   Her brother went upstairs to clean up but his friend had other plans.  He wanted to see if he could get a piece of Amberlyn's cake.  He walked up to Amberlyn with his plate in hand.

"That's for my party tomorrow," she said with rolled eyes.
"It looks like someone already started the party." He commented regarding the missing pieces on the back.
"Well, that was for someone special," she said with a smirk.
That led to a playful exchange which ended with her being tickled and pinned up against a wall.  He pledged to keep her there until she relented on giving him a piece of her cake.   She relented.

She sliced him a piece from the bottom.  Of course he wanted to try the other two flavors.  She relented.

As soon as he finished his last bite, he wanted more.  She was serious this time.  "It's for my party tomorrow.  No more.  Everyone is going to know."

As any brute would do, he took his finger and slid it from the top of her cake to the bottom and gathered a lump of icing.  He slowly sucked the icing off of his finger.  He proved his point.

Amberlyn's heart sunk.  She wanted to cry.

More boys from the team showed up.  They helped themselves to Amberlyn's cake.  She even served some of them.  At this point, she no longer cared.  There was no hiding the missing pieces and she didn't want to fight anymore.  What was the use.


"What happened to your cake" I asked.  That was the question everyone seemed to be avoiding.
"I just couldn't wait." Amberlyn sighed.  She told me the whole story.  How she gave away just a tiny piece and how it got easier to give more away.  Then how some was even taken against her will.  The cake was already ruined so what did it matter who had a piece before the party.


"But it did matter, didn't it?"
"Yes.  I should have waited.  This all could have been so beautiful."

"This is not all your fault.  Yes, you should have waited with Dave, but that doesn't mean anyone and everyone gets to have a piece just because you gave some away.  Let's talk about what went wrong.  Let's establish some boundaries and rules to follow: not to make you miserable and lonely, but to protect you and what is valuable to you.  You will have more enjoyment and everyone can share in your moment of joy and fulfillment.  I promise you, it is WORTH THE WAIT."

Four years later, Amberlynn was married.  Cake Creations made her a beautiful cake.  Amberlynn was adamant about the cake.  No one was to touch it, take pictures of it or be alone with it.  She set her boundaries.  Some may have criticized her for them.  But she knew what she had to do.

A month later I received a Thank-You note in the mail.

"You were right.  It was Worth The Wait."

Love, Amberlyn

Cake by http://cakecoquette.com
Photography by Tiny Water Photography
http://www.milouandolin.com

1.

The Day I Fell In Love With A Foreigner

"Quel est votre nom?" A tall dark-haired handsome young man asked me.
"Whaaat?" I giggled.
"Whas yudr nam?" He tried to say it so that I could understand.
"Lori," I replied with another giggle.  This time with a blush.
Who was this guy?  If he wasn't so cute, I wouldn't have been so amused.  
"I'm not from around here," He said.
"No kidding," I replied.  He missed the sarcasm in my voice.
"I'm not kidding."
There was an awkward pause between us.  I was waiting on him to explain while he was interrupting my alone time at the mall.   Who was this foreigner and why did he single me out?
I was laughing nervously but secretly loving the attention.
There wasn't much explanation, but our conversation continued.  The trip to the mall turned into a date at a small cafe and three hours of talking.  I'm not sure that he understood what I was saying to him, but he always acted like he did.    After we exchanged phone numbers we parted ways.

That was the day I fell in love with a foreigner.

Weeks turned to months and months turned into one year of dating.  We celebrated at the cafe in the mall.  Then it happened.  The proposal.  Then a few months later, the wedding.

There was only one problem.
Everyone warned me that this would happen.  It did.  
The cuteness wore off.  He no longer seemed to understand what I was saying to him.
I was sure he would understand my language by now.  He didn't.  In fact, he quit speaking to me in my native language and would only speak to me in his.  If I wanted to understand him, then I would have to speak his language.  I had taken language lessons before we got married, but since we got married and were both working full-time jobs, there wasn't much time for the lessons, or so I thought.

Then there was baby number one.

Two years later, baby number two.

We both tried a little.  I spoke to him when I could in his language, just enough to communicate the necessities.  He did the same.  But we weren't growing and learning.  We weren't REALLY trying.

I had enough.  I began to secretly schedule my language lessons.  Every day I learned a new word.  It didn't seem like much the first week.  Seven new words.  But in that month I learned 31 new words.  I was making new sentences now.  Then things started making sense.   He didn't really notice until about month three.  I was speaking complete paragraphs in his native language.  By month six, I used my own language as little as possible - just enough to get by or communicate things I couldn't say any other way.  By one year, I was fluent.  I was so fluent that he decided it was time for a vacation.  We flew out on our own and left the children with the grandparents.    

I fell in love with my foreigner all over again.... all by learning to speak AND speaking his language.

What is your spouse's love language? Find out and began to speak it -one word at a time-!

Words of Affirmation - Acts of Service - Receiving Gifts - Quality Time - Physical Touch

We took this on our California Vacation, 2013

GIRLS RULE!!

"A husband may be the HEAD but the wife is the NECK."

Two Scriptures popped out at me in my Daily Bible reading.  Within those verses, the word "FOR" stood out like it was highlighted among the passages.

King Jehoram:

^{2 Chronicles 21:5-6}

⁵ Jehoram was thirty and two years old when he began to reign, and he reigned eight years in Jerusalem.

⁶ And he walked in the way of the kings of Israel, like as did the house of Ahab:  FOR he had the daughter of Ahab to wife: and he wrought that which was evil in the eyes of the Lord.

The next passage was

2 Chronicles 22:2-3

² Forty and two years old was Ahaziah when he began to reign, and he reigned one year in Jerusalem. His mother's name also was Athaliah the daughter of Omri.
³ He also walked in the ways of the house of Ahab: FOR  his mother was his counsellor to do wickedly.

What kind of wife or mother will you be?

I WILL WAIT FOR YOU

This morning while reading in 2 Chronicles, I read the story of a King of Judah named Asa.  He was in a battle against an Ethiopian army that he couldn't conquer on his own.  He had 580,000 warriors and the Ethiopian army had 1,000,000 plus 300 chariots.   He cried out to GOD for help and GOD came in and defeated the Ethiopian army.   Later in life, King Asa's walled city was surrounded by another army and he reached out to his fellow king instead of calling on the LORD again.  Then he got diseased in his feet and the Bible says specifically that "..in his disease he sought not to the LORD, but to the physicians."  

2 Chronicles 16:9 "For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him..."

I am convinced that if Asa had only asked, the LORD would have answered and brought deliverance and healing.  

We have a Heavenly Father who is WAITING to give us what we need.  He has open arms.  He is longing to show HIS glory in your situation.

I wrote this song this morning for someone to hear the love HE is ready to share.

CLICK HERE TO PLAY

COUNSELING WITH A YOUNG MOM AND WIFE

I took one look at her and I was saddened.  Her eyes were swollen from her apparent extensive crying.  Her hair was flat and stringy.  She sat in front of me angry and flustered.  Her deep loud breaths were one of the many signs that she needed help, and needed it now.  I didn’t even have to ask what was wrong.  She burst into tears and blurted out, “It’s not fair.”  I watched closely as the bitter tears began to fall again.    “I never get a break.  He gets to do whatever he wants whenever he wants.  If I want a day off, I have to do it on his schedule.  I never get to have “ME” time.  I never get to go do my own thing.  I’m tired.  I’m just sick of it all.”  A part of me understood and felt pity on her.  Another part of me was embarrassed for her.  She was a mess.  

I continued to listen as her list of wants and needs grew longer and longer.  The more she talked the less she cried.  She became defiant as she began to state things such as, “I don’t deserve this.  I deserve to be happy.”  My mind kept thinking of her two young children.  But the thoughts were interrupted by more ranting, “Everyone else gets to go have Girls-Night-Out.  I never get to do anything like that.  All I do is clean everyone else’s messes.”  By this time, I knew she had crossed the boundary of truth.  Her emotions were out of control and her brain was no longer filtering the truth from the lies.  

I was going to interject but then she had a Honey-Do-List that wasn’t complete and had to tell me about that also.  The majority of the things that she was saying were things that she could do herself or minor things that shouldn’t even be brought up.  It was like she had an agenda to make him fail so that she had an excuse to be upset.  I secretly held back laughter that she was this passionate about expressing such trivial matters.  Yet she continued.  The bedroom?  She went there.   

I couldn’t take it anymore.  I’d had enough.  “YOU NEED TO GET OVER IT.” I said.  I couldn’t believe I just said that.  I don’t think she believed it either.  She sat silent and stunned.  

“You are so selfish.  All you do is nag and whine.  Do you really think your husband or anyone else wants to be around you?  You’re thinking of yourself too much.  When’s the last time you fasted more than what was asked of you?”  I put myself in her husbands shoes and began to speak from her husband’s perspective.  

“I need a safe place to come home to.  I need a wife that isn’t shutting me out with her nagging and depression.  I want to come home and relax.  I’ve been fighting all day, not physically but spiritually; fighting for my salvation.  Today, everywhere I went I was being pulled upon.  I was being called and drawn to lust.  God put a drive inside of me that I can’t help.  I’m being attacked just because I’m male.  I went to get gas.  I was seduced at the check-out.  I ordered my food and was inundated with temptation as a song played.  I drove down the road and I was directed to engage my mind in my own pleasure.  I went to the mall and I couldn’t even walk straight without being offered -not just a glimpse but a buffet of skin, flesh and cleavage.

I’m fighting all day to keep my eyes guarded so that my soul can be pure and my mind can be saved for you.  I chose you.  I married you.  But when I come home to you, you’re distracted.  You push me away.  You use our time together to tell me how hard life is for you.  Or how your work is so frustrating.  Or how the kids were so disruptive that you need a break from life.  You leave me with my temptations and worries.  I can’t express them to you because you’re so emotional and unstable that you can’t handle them.  You only judge me when I express my temptation instead of helping me and guiding me.  

Can you love me?  Can you be happy for me?  Can you make our home a place where I can be safe from temptation.  I can’t even go to the House of God and be free from skin and cleavage.  I want to rest.  I want to relax.  My soul is weary.  I buy you massages and pedicures, but it would not be ok for me to pay a woman to touch me.  That’s why I ask you to do it.  I need you.  Please don’t push me away.  I know I don’t deserve it.  I’ve messed up.  I’ve failed you.  I’ve been immature.  Please pray for me and support me as I’m learning.  

In the past you’ve tried to push spirituality on me as a way to get me to do the things you want me to do.  It goes far beyond that.  God is the answer, but not in the way that you think.  You are the example of Love that I need.  Husbands are won by the “Conversation” or “Lifestyle” of their wives.  Will you be Jesus to me?”

There were more tears.  I hoped I made the right choice to confront her.  I didn’t plan to say what I said.  It just came out that day.  I would like to think it was Divinely Inspired of God for wives and mothers much like this one.    

I got up from the mirror that day and I’d like to say I’ve been perfect.  I haven’t.  I have failed as a mother and a wife.  But inside my soul I know that I am only happy when I am serving my husband, my children and others.  

Albert Schweitzer once said, “The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.”

Always schedule time for Self-Care but never Self-Pity!  Lori Green